In This Sweet Surrender

January 09, 2004 ~ 11:34 p.m.
A Bowling Story

Here I am again, with another soap opera/teen drama story. You know, I'd like to think that I've moved on, or that I'm better or above all this, but apparently I'm not. So just listen anyway, or not, whatever...

I went bowling with Danielle, Natalie, and Nicole. It was just the five of us, so we had to share a little space with another group. It just so happens that one of the guys in this other group, is a person that I took my lifeguarding course with, two years ago. We both kind of looked at each other, and we went through the "Hey, you look familiar" stuff. We got everything figured out, and we started talking some. I gave him my number and told him to call me if he was ever bored or had any free time. I don't know if he'll call. I won't say that I don't care; I do want him to call, but if he doesn't, well oh well. I won't be crushed.

Well, that could be the end of the story, but it's not. While we're bowling our second to last or last frame, who walks in, no one other than Garrett. At first he just walked right past us, and didn't say anything, but then a few minutes later he walked up behind me and yelled "boo" into my ear. It scared the hell out of me. After that we were standing in line to pay, and he was standing in front of us to get his shoes. He was talking to us, as a group, but it definitely was not directed towards me.

I guess, to be honest it kind of made me jealous; it seemed like he was paying attention to Nicole. I don't know if things are weird between of us, because of New Years, or what. I don't know, I guess I'll just wait and see what happens next.

I still don't know if its worth it to put up a fight. If I do put up a fight, I will put my all into it. There's no way that I'll be left in the dark. I will get a straight anwer from him.

But, do I want a straight answer? If his answer is anywhere along the lines of "I never cared not thought of you, and never will. You were just a fun distraction." I think I might rather just let it go, that will hurt me so much worse than never knowing.

I think it kind of goes along with the whole "ignorance is bliss" saying, you know? But, then again, what if things could work out, what if there is something there for me, but I've been to with holding for him to think that there's any reason he should do anything?

Aw, man, now I know I'm just rambling. I apologize for the boring entry. I just really had to get it out of my system.

ELB

Before ~ After

Miss These?

Locking Up - January 21, 2004
Stuck in the Middle, and I Don't Like it - January 18, 2004
A Bowling Story - January 09, 2004
A New Year and Brand New Start - January 06, 2004
Girls are Worse the Ants - December 31, 2003